For only the manliest of men

An ad on Kijiji for Tom Selleck look-a-like Ford Explorer. Replicated here for your pleasure, but feel free to visit the original ad.

"OK, let me start off by saying this Explorer is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Ford would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a
favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.


This SUV was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).


No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 155 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.


My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2500 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Oh yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.


There's only 290,000 km on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.


Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then email me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.


*To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.


Rock on. "

*truck does not actually include MC Hammer pants*"

Ga Ga for acapella!

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Birth Control - a little help?

Here's the solution! Shit My Kids Have Ruined blog. Here's a little teaser:

Caption: "New tub of Desitin + new tub of Vaseline + new container of powder+ extra long “nap”= reminder to get a tubal ligation"
Please let me know if any of you breeders upload your own horror story to the site!

Easy dins

Basically, this is pan roasted potatoes below a bed of steamed greens, topped with a soft cooked egg. Here's the "recipe" even though it's more of a guideline. This is for two eaters and the amounts can be adjusted easily for more or fewer mouths.

1) Chop 1 large potato into bite-sized chunks (smaller chunks cook through faster). Heat small amount of olive oil in pan over medium heat, pan roast spuds until browned (stirring regularly). Sprinkle with some s&p and chili flakes. [Make sure the potatoes are actually cooked through. Larger chunks might brown without softening enough. You could always do this step in the oven: 375F for ~25 minutes]
2) Meanwhile, wash and chop 2-3 cups of greens (chard, kale, spinach, anything!) then steam in a steamer pot for about 5 minutes (less for spinach). Toss lightly with a dash of lemon juice to retain bright green colour.
3) Cook two eggs until whites are set and yolks are runny (poached, over easy, sunny side up, any way you like it!) You could even poach the eggs in the water used to steam the greens. Or lightly fry them in the pan used for the potatoes.
4) In 2 bowls, layer potatoes, then greens, then egg. S&p and hot sauce to taste.

And that's it!

I loooove this meal. It's super tasty and healthy, easy on the wallet and easy to pull together, and it responds well to adaptations. For instance, tonight I threw in chunks of portobello mushroom to cook with the spuds (about halfway through spud cooking), and topped it with scallions and sesame seeds. Varieties of peppers go well with this; you can always add onions or garlic at the beginning; grated cheese on top is delicious; add your favourite spices to the potatoes or toss the greens with some Braggs, etc. I'm sure this would be great over rice as well, but potatoes are rich in potassium so it's a great recovery meal after a full day of exercise. The soft egg breaks over everything else, making the dish quite creamy. **Slurp**!

Three guesses

What's my newest sport?

Dimension fun

See the little guy wearing red and blue glasses in the left top corner of your Google Map streetview? Yep, if you click him, your streetview becmes 3D. I'm serious. Serious as a heart attack. Here are steps you can use to build your own 3D glasses (it boils down to "colour clear plastic with red and blue sharpie"), or buy a box of cereal advertising 3D glasses in return for 3 UPCs (or fair facsimiles), then load up the intertubes, find an address you might be interested in (I suggest the art intervention viewable here, and information about it here), then get your freak on!

We had to experiment quite a bit with the colours. The blue lens had to be almost dark teal, and the red really had to be orangey-red, not pinky-red. We only had limited success, to be honest, but it was fun trying. And that's what really counts, doesn't it?
Here's an image to try it out on:

Flexing the tendons

Well, besides the fact I'm getting physio on my wrist for triangular fibrocartilage complex (TFCC), I've been wanting to get a toque finished for my neighbour/landlords downstairs who are expecting their first child. Luckily, the knitting didn't seem to bother my wrist much, unlike washing my face at night or turning right while driving (who can predict these things?). So I managed to finish what might be my cutest knitting creation yet: Fraise Heads! Strawbabies! Fruit suit!

Soooooooooo cute! I'm feeling like I've got this particular baby toque NAILED. It's always the Umbilical Cord Hat from the Stitch N' Bitch book of knitting patterns, but I've started playing with the colours and pattern a bit to mix it up.It's not pink! It's red. Couldn't get a photo that really did the colours justice.

I'm not being original here; lots of folks have thrown twists at this basic toque pattern, and there are multiple lines of fruit hat wear out there for knitters to whip up. I've seen eggplants, tomatoes, apples, etc., and I'll get around to trying out a lot of them, if willing models continue to show up. But it's fun to shop for yarn and imagine the finished product, then sit my butt down in front of a movie (12 Angry Men (1957)) and start and finish a hat in one go.

Fun with yarn!

UPDATE: Turns out Kathy had a baby boy 12 hours after I finished the hat! Three weeks early but everyone is doing fine. AND I gave the hat to the new dad and he said the one thing they were missing was a hat to bring him home in! Too perfect.